فـ ـ ــي أمـ ـــ ـل

I've been waiting this vacation since 2 and a half years and oh god it's over in a blink :)


back to the track

with hopes

fe amaل

Here it comes ;)

Here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
*The beatles

عذراً فالبرد يقتلني!!

أغلق سحاب كوتي الشتوي وأنا أرتجف وأنطلق إلى دولاب جواربي
لأسحب منه جواربي الصوفية الدافئة وأرى ملامح السأم على وجه أمي
من أثر شكواي الدائم وتأففي بسبب برودة الجو

فمن يراني فالمنزل بلا شك سيشعر بأنه دخل بيتاً من بيوت الثلج
لسكان الألاسكا

لا يلاءمني هذا الجو كثيراً
وأفضل أن أقضيه في فتره الدراسة والإمتحانات
لا فالإجازة =\




قبل عام من اليوم كنتُ في سنتي الدراسية الثانية
أتذكر.. حين لم أكن أحب الخروج من غرفتي 29
احتوتني زوايا غرفتي الصغيره بكل دفء في ذلك الجو البارد
أتذكر هطول الأمطار
وكيف كنت أسرع بفتح نافذة غرفتي لأدع قطرات المطر تبلل وجهي وملابسي
وأوراقي!
لم أكترث، بل ضمتني غرفتي كالطفل الذي غطته أمه من رأسه حتى قدميه
ب 10 قطع أو أكثر من الملابس التي تدفئه
لم أكن أحس بما أحس به الآن
لا أحب البرد...... !



شيئاً آخر لا أحبه
هو أنني عرفتكِ
في الشتاء
الفصل الذي لا أحبه
بروده يقتلني !
ربما لهذا السبب تركتكِ
لكي لا تذكريني
بليالينا الطويلة
ولقاءاتنا العابرة الـبــاردة
وبرودكِ
كاد
يقتلني
!!

لهذا تركتكِ ولن أتراجع


فـ أنا
لا
أ ح ب
البرد
!

Up at 6:00 am. have my coffee. open up my window and pop out my head looking at the airplanes taking off the airport. a scene that I love when watching the airplanes in their best look. their eminency that I love when their direction is towards the sky up there! Leaving everything beyond and carrying what's important to them and what they are made for towards their destination. so elegant.

That was a part of my daily routine during the exams period and now it makes me think.. what if I carried what is important to me and left everything and everyone else behind? will be there any change?
what if I stopped caring about others who seem not needing me in there life.. it seems to me.. I never know how it seems to them.. will they come and look for me? will they book a ticket flying to my room if they needed me or I did? I never know if they do or not.. time will determine and days will show me the truth.. I decided to fly like the airplanes I used to see everyday.. Not alone of course, airplanes cross up above the clouds but without crashing.. but to me, I prefer to have a life full of smooth crashings with others who are welcomed.. and everybody is welcomed. Got to say that I have to leave some people's lives. leaving a space for others to enter.
now fastening my seat belt....................
Flying!

So looking back at 2010 I see myself as a loser.. not meaning to humiliate myself but hoping to change. Yes I was a loser and a big one, I thought I could control everything I do or think about but I actually was dreaming.. I had the widest imagination which have thrown me in a dirty muck.. I tried to stand up and remove the dirt and I raised one leg to walk a step but I again fell.. I did that a thousand time and all what I was doing is working hard on myself to keep on living normally.. I tried to maintain a life but it didn't last so long.. Till the end of 2010 when I again have thrown myself in a deeper muck.. it was a black ocean of shallow thoughts, weird expectations and fancy possession.. and I didn't posses any of what I tried to obtain.. thank god I tried to manage some studying otherwise I would be here sitting and holding last semester's sheets! It was a long process that doesn't seem to end yet.. I know it harms me but I didn't end it yet.. It will destroy me deeply yet not ending it.. I just can't describe how shallow I have been.. Still trying.. still trying.. I mean still suffering.
but today and only today, I started to see a light.. that light which is said to be at the end of the tunnel.. I don't see any tunnels honestly but I started to look at my life and future more clearly, more wisely than I was.. the problem is that I sometimes lose the connection with who I want to be.. cause imagining my position may help in gathering up my will, mental and physical power.. That light made me look back and discover how much I've lost which is making me more and more furious! I won't blame myself more than I did cause at the time I was lost, I was doing nothing except blaming myself, others and every molecule in the world…. No I won't be that loser again.. I'll search for more power of my inside.. There's a light!

ربّ صدفـة خير من ألف ميعاد

صيف 2003
في جو القاهرة المزدحم
نسهر في إحدى البواخر المطلة على نهر النيل
وماء النهر يعكس صورة القمر اللي كان الضوء الوحيد لليلتنا
وصوت فيروز يزيد قعدتنا رومانسية :P
واهي تغني نحنا والقمر جيران نعم كنا احنا والقمر جيران

-----------------------------------

في طريق جسر السويس
قررنا انا وأخواني نروح نلعب في ملاهي سندباد

وهي ملاهي قديمة وايد في مصر,,
كل العايلة والأجداد مرّوا عليها فأصرينا ندخل ونزور هالمكان

وكانت الصدفة أن نلتقي بعائلة إماراتية ومن عادة والدي انه يحب يكون صداقات مع الناس فالسفر
فتعرفت على ابنتهم "م" وكانت أكبر مني بأربع سنوات
لكن لم يكن للسن أي فارق
لعبنا وتزاورنا وعشنا أحلى أيام في سفرتنا
وكأننا نعرف بعض منذ زمن


في زياراتهم لنا أنا وأمي و صديقتي"م" وأمها نجلس في المجلس الأخضر الصغير نتبادل أطراف الحديث
وفي المجلس البني كانو الرياييل أبوي وأبوها واخوي "ر" واخوي الصغير
زيارات كثيرة جمعتنا
وكان يحلى السهر في البلكونة
واحنا نشاغب
نسولف
نضحك
نتكلم عن أحلامنا
وكل وحدة تفخر بإنجازاتها :P
لكن كان للقاء نهاية بعد ما رجعنا الإمارات وانقطعت اتصالاتنا بشكل كامل
لحد2009

اليوم أفتح باب غرفتي وأسمع صوت صديقتي "م" في صالة بيتنا جاءت برفقة أخي "ر" لتشرف على ترتيبات منزلها الصغير والذي سيجمعهما معاً بعد أشهر إن شاء الله
ورح أجتمع معاها في غرفتي مثل ما كنا نجتمع في بلكونة شقتنا في القاهرة
يا رب تمم على خير

13\january\2010

قبل عام ......
صباح كنتُ فيه كالنحلة النشيطة
في أحد أيام الإمتحانات النهائية للفصل الدراسي الأول
أتصفّح أوراق الامتحان العملي لمادة الـ microbiology
بين الـ إي كولاي الحمراء و أسبارجلس التي كنت أشبهها بالزهرة
وأنا ألتهم ما يمكنني إلتهامه من معلومات في آخر الدقائق...

تذكرت وقت الإمتحان
وهممت لألقي نظرة على ساعة هاتفي
لأرى رسالة جديدة لم أعرف قبل أن أقرأها
بأن محتواها يخبرني أن الله أرسل لنا هدية جميلة كالملاك

"مريوم ربّت"
كان محتوى الرسالة

يعني خليفة وصل :]
مضى حوالي أسبوعين قبل أن أراه
كنت وقتها أترقب عودتي للمنزل لأره شوقاً بأن
أعطيه إصبعي ليمسكه...

شوقاً لأضع يدي على رأسه فأتحسس الـ
Anterior fontanelle :P

شوقاً لشم رائحه كريمات جونسون
والتي مضت فترة ليست بالقليلة منذ آخر مرة شممتها

:D

بعد يومين يكمل حبيبي عامه الأول
بـ 6 أسنان
ومحاولات للمشي والتسلق إلى طاولة الطعام ماداً يده
لإلتقاط ما يمكنه إلتقاطه من صحن الفاكهة الملوّنة الذي يغريه

تمّت العمليه بنجاح
;D

يتنفس الصعداء
ويتلذذ بالإنتصار
:D

لـــهيب الحياة

الطمــوح
شعاع يسكن في أنفسنا جميعًا..
منّا من أطفأه بهوانه وكسله
ومنا من أشعله لهيباً لينير ظلمات دروبه وأشواكها
والفطن فينا من ينتبه إلى هذا الساكن والضيف العزيز
الذي كثيراً ما يصيبه الملل والكلل من جراء "تطنيشنا" له,
فيغط في سباتٍ عميق قد لا يستقيظ بعده أبداً! 0
فرفقاً به أيها الأعزاء.. لا تتركوه مهملاً وقتاً طويلاً يشيب بعده ويموت كمدًا
..

وأُعـلِنَ في الكَونِ أن الطمـوح.. لــهــيبُ الحـياةِ وروحُ الظـفر


sparkle ♥

الحمـــــــدلله

اللهم لك الحمدُ حتّى تَرْضى
ولك الحمدُ إذا رَضيت
ولك الحمدُ بعدَ الرِّضـا

اليد صاحبة الرجاء

الصورة لجنين في بطن أمه لم يكمل 21 إسبوعاً إسمه سامويل ألكسندر حيث قرر الطبيب جوزيف برونر أن سامويل بحاجة إلى عملية جراحية ولكن لو تم إخراجه من بطن أمه فإنه سوف يموت ، ولذا عليه أن يقوم بإجراء العملية وهو داخل رحم الأم ..

لم تمانع الأم (جولي آرماس) من إجراء العملية حيث أنها تعمل ممرضة توليد في نفس المستشفى وهي تعرف جيداً مدى مهارة الطبيب برونر في مثل تلك الحالات حيث أنه قد قام بعدة عمليات مشابهة وقد تكللت جميعها بالنجاح.

وأثناء العملية قام الطبيب بعمل فتحة في رحم الأم ليتمكن من إجراء العملية للجنين ، وبعد أن إنتهى من العملية وبينما هو يحاول إرجاع الرحم إلى مكانه أخرج سامويل يده الصغيرة جداً وأمسك بإصبع الطبيب .

يقول الدكتور برونر (( لقد كانت هذه اللحظة من أكثر اللحظات التي مرت في حياتي تأثيراً عليّ لدرجة أنني في تلك اللحظة قد تجمدت مكاني ولم أستطع أن أفعل أي شيء أو أن أحرك إصبعي ، أحسست بأن أطرافي كلها قد تجمدت))

وبسرعة كبيرة وقبل أن ينتهي هذا الموقف الأكثر إثارة وعاطفية في العالم تم أخذ هذه الصورة ونشرت في الصحف تحت اسم (( اليد صاحبة الرجاء))

وقد كتبت الصحف عن هذه الصورة بأن الجنين سامويل قد أخرج يده الصغيرة من رحم أمه ليمسك بإصبع الطبيب وكأنه بذلك أراد أن يقول له ' شكراً لك لإنقاذك حياتي'

تقول الأم أنها بعد أن رأت الصورة ظلت تبكي لعدة أيام ، لقد تعلمت من هذه الصورة بأن الحمل ليس عبارة عن عجز و مرض وتعب بل هو إعطاء حياة لشخص آخر صغير وضعيف بحاجة إليك وإلى حمايتك.

لقد نجحت العملية 100% وولد سامويل بعد أن أتم فترة الحمل وهو الآن بصحة جيدة.

source:http://www.nabanews.net/2009/16126.html

1st clinical day

Date: october 5
place: Our Own English High School (Al warqa'a)


essalam 3laikom ♥
I hope this post is going to be a fun one cause I actually had fun =D
it's the 1st clinical day for me since I joined the college, it was fun actually being around kids.. reminding us with school life and all the fun ;)



on our way


our first stop was at mankhool health centre



it's the centre controlling the private schools medically
we had a boooring speech actually from one of the doctors there
and we left excited to reach our final destination:





it's the school!
I had a weird feeling actually when we first entered, everybody were staring at us as if we were kind of aliens O_O , and the kids were pointing at me and saying: "hi scientist!!" lool since when did I become a scientist?? =P


we reached to the nurse room, asked some inquiries about everything,
we met sick kids :( most of them were having fever or abdominal pain..



then we went to the canteeeeeen, it was all fried food and unhealthy nutrition to those poor kids,
I remember one of them was screaming for the"Panjabi samboosa!!" and we bursted in laughing..



seriously, most of the food was fried, oily.. shouldn't be provided as a healthy nutrition,



regardless the chips (I admit that I was so hungry at that moment but I resisted strongly eating from their food >> not cause it's not healthy but because we were actually criticizing it =P so I will look silly big time if I took something ^_^)

Hmm.. we started hanging in the school, interviewing kids,
one of the kids was asked by my friend "what do u think of the canteen's food? Do u eat from it?"
and they boy was like" nooo waaay.. I never eat from this canteen"
we were like "uh good boy" (ya gada3 entah) =D

another kid was so smart mashallah, I asked him about swine flu and how to treat the flu in general, he started mentioning names of some drugs!! He's only 10 years but mashallah!!
when he saw my reaction, he said confidently: "I want to be a doctor, that's why" ^__^ this is him:


we took a round in their sports area:


look at this cuuuuute little kid eating his cupcake ^.^



I can't remember the rest of the details.. I don't know how will I write the report to the doctor lol =D ( a real, serious, medical report not like this one =D)
but it was a nice outgoing anyway ^__^

sparkle

3eed sa3eed but..........!

happy 3eed everybody, I hope that U're enjoying these days ♥
except that I'm very sorry for the family who have lost their man
(he's a son, a brother) may Allah bless his parents and family with
patience..
I was at my grandmother's house when we were about to leave,
we heard a sound of explosion near by followed by screems of
women, their voices were very high, by seeing smoke above
their house I thought at first that there might be a fire or something..
my brothers went to see what's going on then a car which came out
of the congregation at about 200 km/hour..
I was shaking at that moment and changed my idea that someone
has died >_< because of the screems but my brothers came
back and told us the story..
the victim is a young man in 20's who was playing with fireworks ,
by a mistake, the bomb didn't fly and explode in the air but in his
face and burnt it instead!! his face was all gone..
and the most terrible is that the one who was driving
didn't have much control and made a car accident!!
I heard that the man who was burnt have died and 2 men with
him in the car are now in a bad condition..
the 3 of them need your preyers =(
Allah yr7am elli maat w y3aafi el mo9abeen ="(
اللهم اغفر له وارحمه وعافه واعف عنه وأكرم نزله ووسع مدخله واغسله بالماء والثلج والبرد ونقه من الذنوب والخطايا كما ينقى الثوب الأبيض من الدنس،اللهم وأنزل على قبره الضياء والنور والفسحة والسرور، اللهم جازه بالحسنات إحسانا، وبالسيئات عفواً وغفراناً
اللهم اجعل قبره روضة من رياض الجنة

Ramadan Kareem

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنَا إِلَى جَمَالِ آيَاتِكَ نَاظِرِينَ، ولِرَوَائِعِ قُدْرَتِكَ مُبْصِرينَ، وَإِلَى جَنَابِكَ الرَّحِيمِ مُتَّجِهِينَ، وَاجْعَلْنَا عَلَى نَهْجِ النَّبِيِّ المُصْطَفَى - عَلَيْهِ أَفَضَلُ الصَّلاَةِ وَأَزْكَى التَّسْلِيمِ - سَالِكِينَ، وَبِسُنَّتِهِ وَهِدَايَتِهِ عَامِلِينَ، وَبِآثَارِهِ مُقْتَفِينَ، وَمَتِّعْنَا اللَّهُمَّ بِصُحْبَتِهِ فِي جَنَّاتِ النَّعِيمِ. اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنِي أَخْشَاكَ حَتَّى كَأَنِّي أَرَاكَ، وَأَسْعِدْنِي بِتَقْوَاكَ، وَلاَ تَجْعَلْنِي بِمَعْصِيَتِكَ مَطْرُوداً، وَرَضِّنِي بِقَضَائِكَ، وَبَارِكْ لِي فِي قَدَرِكَ، وَانْصُرْنِي عَلَى مَنْ ظَلَمَنِي.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ عَمَلَنَا كُلَّهُ خَالِصَاً لِوَجْهِكَ الكَرِيمِ..

كل عام وأنتم بخير
تقبل الله منا ومنكم صالح الأعمال
♥

done with the hard part

finallllyyyyy I made "m5awwarah" for 3eed =P (traditional dress
of UAE) I can't imagine how will I look in it cuz it's been a really
really long time since I've worn one due to life time changes
((& somatic changes xD ))

mentioning 3eed, well I have great plans to do with my sisters
enshaAllah I'll go to pray 3eed "enshaAllah" =P
as well as going to grandmother house in the morning which I don't
remember doing so far.. we usually go in the afternoon or in the evening when
our house is free of visitors..

----------------------------------
today we had a party for my sis *D*'s birthday & graduation in the
same time, she delayed her graduation party to make it a double
party today 14/8 which is her BD hehe




♥ sparkle ♥

things I almost remember

start of college 23\8 eew I can't imagine going back to that
nasty hostel again.. & surprisingly, yesterday one of my sisters
mentioned that there's going to be a new direct way from FUJ
to Dubai and I screamed "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat"!! Actually, we
have been hearing about it since a very long time without an action,
but it seems true now as they're working on it..I don't know if
there will be a "reduction" in the time needed to go to college from
home & back in the afternoon.. poooor hopes & poor me!

----------------------------


ms. purple is enjoying nesquik with milk ..

Nesquik with milk became our usual meal as ms. Purple is spending
her summer with us..



-------------------------





Isn't he an amazing person?
Allah yt8abbal mnah enshaAllah..
I strongly admire his open mind, rare & fabulous ideas..
I wish I can have even half of his power

what I loved most of his work is a tv show called "لو كان بيننا"
not to forget mentioning برنامج خواطر of course, but law kan
baynana has that weird and unique touch on our hearts..
as it's mostly about prophet mohammed peace be upon him
and how to apply what he taught us befor 1400 years
now in 2009..
here's the first show, an idea about it : plzzzzzz watch it if u didn't

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnudDmYIRrg

I also have his book "خواطر" It has a very simple and clear meaning




------------



does your mind sleep when your body is sleeping?
another way: can your mind sleep when you're physically awake? xD
waiting for ur comments


♥ sparkle ♥

Unchain your dreams

Click here please



Sparkle ♥

e.l.7.a.m.d.l.i.l.l.a.h

between the lobbies of blood and serum..to the smelly cadavers and bones..
during long nights with my anatomy atlas to unsuccessful attempts to wake up early to study..
from days of cooperation between me and my friends to wake each other up..
to falling a sleep after switching all the alarms off ..
from all the frustration moments before entering the oral exams with your brain empty..
to the hugs after you get out from the exam room not knowing if you answered a single correct answer?
from summer of 2008 where I was so worrying about my acceptance in the college
to summer 2009 where I finished my first year!

>> O_O

My eyes gonna pop out O_O
I hate METABOLISM
but some clinical correlations are nice ;)
I can't wait till I finish this year to get rid of biochemstry -___-
it's driving me crazy.. I even wrote on one of the walls
"Carbamoyl phosphate synthetase"
my mother will kick me out of the house if she sees it
Anyway
5 more weeks and I'll be DONE WITH FISRT YEAR WOHOOOO

Poooooooor us!!

U gotta watch this!



the end is sooooo cooooool
Mwahahahahahaaaaaa xD


source

exams gonna start after 1 week
ed3oooooli =(

moments.in.my.life.

.moments.

^studying at home =)

^this rose is from her




7amaam =D and it was raining.. (in school)






^ products of my hand.. LOL
I miss knitting wallah =(


mini jellys yum yumm =D


Is there a chance to meet U? ="(
"dr. fatma alkhumairi, a graduate from my college and the first
6abeeba shar3yah in UAE"

no.comment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
they weren't the best but what I thought to post..
more coming soon.
♥sparkle♥